Stuck here in SLC, thanks to good weather. Yes, you heard right. Apparently the plane had been anticipating bad weather, and therefore had taken on an additional 2000 pounds of fuel, except that because the weather was sunny and the winds very mild, we were therefore *overweight* for the runway. But just barely. They then spent two hours trying to pump the weight off the plane, in the end deciding the wind was just enough to be cleared for takeoff without modification.
Smartly, I had purchased an upgrade for the flight, from my unfashionable "E" seat to a nice 1A seat, which meant I got a free upgraded seat with my purchase of $150 chicken and artichokes.
Alas, I will be late to my client. Hand, staple, forehead.