matt (hbergeronx) wrote,

on hugging puppies.

I think I'm finally understanding things.

I'm in the middle of John Ralston Saul's "Voltaire's Bastards", which I am finding an incredibly timely read despite the fact that it was penned before 1992. At length, it is a condemnation of America both Democrat and Republican. His skewering of Robert McNamara has shed a new light on how Democrats are complicit in the industrial/military complex; and that the madness of trickle down economics is not unique to Neocons. He does not stop at Vietnam: he shows how management mentality continued unabated as McNamara moved to the World Bank and how rather than repentance, his behavior there continued the cardinal sin of rationality without morals or common sense.

I was also incredibly impressed with the "purple" map referenced by a recent Snopes article, putting to and end the myth that this was somehow between red states and blue states. It's about the war between City and Country. It's the flares of the real Revolutionary war: the Industrial Revolution. Here you are, standing around like it's the morning after the season finale of "Survivor", bored of it all already. "No more election coverage, please!"

Although Saul does not conclude this: I am convinced that underneath it all, America is at war with France, a "cold" war, two industrial superpowers duking it out for top stinky cheese. It's not a new war- we've probably been fighting it ever since France withdrew from NATO in 1966. Although France rejoined NATO subsequent to publication of Saul's book in 1992, I don't think we've seen the end of it. Besides, I'll bet you they're calling themselves "Europe" now. Same shit, different day. How's this for conspiracy nuts: our only source of flu vaccine this year is the French company, Aventis. The cold war is not over. In fact, it's cold season, and this time we wait until we get home. Fire!

I am absolutely sold on Saul's analysis of the military industry. France had everything to lose, debt-wise, when Saddam was defeated during bush the first. The war dragged on, but France had already conceded, I think, by the time it rejoined NATO. They no doubt were never going to see a penny of those loans. How many French pensions' worth of loans do you think they lost, there? Do you think there'd be such a fucking social security crisis if they stopped to think?

Saul is mystified why Khashoggi's 20 million or so in wrongdoing was even noticed compared to the capital-B billion in lost equipment and armaments the military writes off every year, without a blip. Puts Martha's 20 gees in perspective, don't it though! "We must account every penny!" Penny wise, Euro foolish.


We wring our hands at the possibility of a group like Al Qaeda getting their hands on the former USSR's weapons of mass destruction, but in fact, the use of simple weapons such as RPGs are a much greater threat. Jane's knows it. And where does the money and technology to build such simple (but really, rather sophisticated) equipment originate? From the push to create American jobs. It's our biggest industry. We are bound in an eternal catch-22 from which only annihilation is a possible escape route.

Kerry's insistence that we need to "kill terrorists" is wrong, *morally* wrong. The hero of September 11th is Osama Bin Laden: if anything, right thinking new yorkers should be hiring him as a security consultant, because he has a better resume than either Bush or Kerry. In fact, if I had to guess, the reason OBL has not been caught is because he is already a very important security consultant. If only we knew for who, and knew why we can't offer him a better employment package. Bush would be lucky to have him as an employee, and don't you think he know it.

Not even RPGs: Box cutters. Plastic ties. It seems surreal, but it is almost like a perverted Gifted and Talented exercise, like an incarnation of McGuyver. These men are the true geniuses, and rather than finding a way to make value of their lives, we waste it on warfare. Worse, we pit them against people for which we have little respect and have no hope of winning: our (oxy)moronic Military Intelligence.

Fucking paper pushers. Harvard MBAs, Yalie frat brothers, and beer swilling Grunts alike, who would just as soon swirlie their best friend. Their mark on the world fades as fast as your name signed in yellow snow. How the fuck are they "winning" this? It's not fraud, my friend. You can't accuse them of cheating when you sold them your term paper.


I'm convinced that the war on gay marriage has nothing to do with being gay. I think it has all to do with a battle between liberal, city values, and the rural values of so-called "red" america. I think most people are perfectly ok with gay people when they actually see one and speak to one. I think, though, most people see "Will and Grace " or, even, remember, "Roseanne", and see self absorbed whiny little shits who *need* more parenting than they are capable of being parents. "Friends" was probably the only positive gay (lesbian, actually) roles they may have ever seen, where the absurd insecurities of Ross and Rachael make gay marrige look almost preferable by comparison. And yet again: more unappealing images of city people. This is the tripe we feed so-called "red" america, and we wonder why they won't swallow it?

Gay marriage is *wrong*, morally wrong, and you know it. It isn't about being gay- it's about the common sense right for any group of people to band together to form a family. It's about real family values. Two straight widowed men should have as much right to marry and merge their families, to form a "household"- a tax entity which already exists but is only available (stupefyingly) to single parents; and there should be no assumption they're gay. Baby steps, progress, my ass. What, are you afraid polygamous mormonism is the new papacy? You should be!

They, on both sides, want to see it as "erosion": "eroding" your freedoms, "eroding" your values, like you have to be a conservationist to have a stake in preserving the beaches of Americanism. Fuck erosion. It's not about drawing the line in the sand. There is no fucking line. Erosion happens, it's nature. Somewhere else: new beachfront. Go move there, you fucking whiners.


Being a New Yorker has to *mean* something, more than a pair of Manolos. Pairing them with a Fuck Bush t-shirt and a Che handbag is not enough! Documenting every last silly little incursion of our so-called "free speech" is not enough. Seeing George Soros shell out his billions to try to buy the election for Kerry is almost as bizarre as seeing feminists ally with the moral majority to ban pornography. Your souls have been sold short so many times! Foreclose on the fuckers. Margin Call, gentlemen!

I propose that on "Ground Zero", we mount a statue of smiling Osama, with a plaque dedicated to the thousand who lost their lives in the name of freedom (and meanwhile, learned not to be so fucking smug all the time). Oh, and found a grant: for some decent fucking CB radios! Stupid camel humpers in the middle of nowhere under assault from the biggest military empire in the solar system can send an election week video message to AlJazeera, and you cant get a signal in the fucking towers? Does that make any sense to you?


it was bizarre to see Dassault mentioned by Saul as a lynchpin of the French military industrial complex. You see, the Dassault logo is very familiar to me, having lived the past six or so years within miles and in the flight path of one of their headquarters. Is it not bizarre, with all the stink over freedom fries and red whine, that there were no protests around that facility during the height of tensions? Why? Because Dassault Falcon represents real Blue America values: corporate jets for Seinfeld types. The prominent green four leaf clover in its logo gives no hint it is globally a major military producer for the French- it seems like good old Kiss The Blarney Irish Boston New York.

Every so often, the radical humanists bus into NYC to protest "the war" in Union Square- but really, why not protest at Teterboro instead? Maybe, because France, as the "enemy of my enemy" bush, is my friend? Or, is it because the cool kids want to go get some carrot juice on the outdoor market and hang?

No blood for oil? You know the oil don't matter. Think about it: why would an oil producer like Iran need "peaceful nuclear power" when they vent off natural gas as waste byproduct? It's all about the bombs folks, on both sides. Who's making em, who's selling em, and who gets to write them off and get Amex miles for em. When Greenspan tweaked interest rates so not to "overheat" the market, he's just making sure we don't write mortgages on too many more bombs before we give them away to our "allies". Oh, that deed- well, it's around here someplace...

There's enough hydrocarbon around to burn for thousands of years. If we had to, we'd invade Minnesota for their strategic soybean oil reserve. Oil don't fucking matter. Science and progress don't fucking matter. Evolution don't fucking matter. Your attitude, mister, is killing me, though.

You people and your fucking hybrid cars, you bought one so that you could be the cool kid on the block, didn't you? Damn straight! I want to get me some. In electric blue!


Confused? not me. Both sides are the enemy. Like two enteric parasites dependent on each other's toxins and our dirty colons to survive, we're the ones poisoned. Blue America, and Red America, you are the problem. Bad news for the Shits. Good news for the Johnsons.

I know, i know, a war zone is no place to raise a child. But really, why are your precious white babies (*especially* those hypothetical ones you don't birth to 'save' them from this world) more valuable than their (very real, very threatened) brown ones? Answer me this, you spineless liberal. Safety for your children, by killing those of the rest of the world- is that good Christian values? Answer me that, you soccersecurity mom.

Do something nice today. Hug a terrorist. Like the patriots of the American Revolution, like our founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, Samuel Adams- they are the real America, the home of free and land of the brave.

Sure, that's fifty pounds of roofing nails and gravel strapped to them, but then again, you don't really want to survive it.

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